Mind Jumble

I've been meaning to post another blog, but every time I think about doing it, I'm just too tired or my mind is a complete jumble of stuff that I'm not sure I have the energy or time to sort it all out to write it down. Tonight isn't much different from that, but decided that I really should write, so I am seeing how this will go. I apologize in advance if my thoughts seem to wander and not make much sense at times. But I'll try to keep some order to it. My pregnancy has been going pretty well. About a month ago I started to have some problems with my back. Most mornings it would be soooo painful to even get out of bed, sometimes I couldn't even do that. Other times I would come home from work in tears because it hurt so bad, and Tylenol wasn't helping much. So I finally went into a chiropractor. Where I discovered that I had a damaged disc in my lower back. Not sure how or when this happened, or what the exact damage is. But I do have an idea which might be the cause of it. Back in the summer of 2000 I worked for the Girls Scouts in Montana as a horse wrangler for the summer camps. During one of our weekly trail rides, the horse I was riding decided he didn't want me on him anymore and tried to buck me off. When I didn't come off, he decided to fall over on me. I was able to get off enough that I didn't end up completely under him, except for my ankle. But I also think the accident may have injured my back because ever since than I have had a sore lower back from time to time. However, it has NEVER been this bad before. The chiropractor said that the pregnancy is aggravating the damaged area. Ugh! And I haven't even gotten to the part of the pregnancy where the baby starts growing rapidly yet! I'm not looking forward to the back pain then! But at least I can go to the chiropractor to help alleviate some it. Also, he gave me a list of excerises and stretches to do that seem to be helping some. At least I can walk and the pain and stiffness is considerably less. I also had about a week of constant dizziness, sometimes pretty extreme, and heart palpitations. My doctor had me come in to be checked. And of course, my heart wasn't acting up when I was there, so he couldn't tell how fast it was going during those episodes. The dizziness he said could be several things, I may not be eating regularly enough, or drinking enough water, it could just be how my body was dealing with the progressing pregnancy, it could be due to a viral infection, or it could be related to something with my heart with the palpitations. So he told me to try eating more regularly, drinking more water, or if that didn't work to take some Benadryl to see if may be an infection. I never did take the Benadryl because it went away for the most part after a couple days. Still not sure what exactly was causing it though. But I'm glad it is gone. Well, at least the dizziness is gone. Every once in a while I will be a little dizzy, but nothing like it was. But I still have the heart palpitations. My doctor said it could be several things for that too, either it is how my body is dealing with the pregnancy or there may be something with my heart. He told me to track my heart rate when I have those racing episodes and to call immediately if it gets over 110bpm. Then they would get me into a cardiologist to look into it. The only problem, I don't know how to figure out my heart rate. I probably should figure it out soon, so that I can tell if there is a problem that I need to get seen about quickly. For the most part I have really enjoyed being pregnant. I love feeling him kick and move around. It feels so weird but at the same time it is amazing that I have another human being growing inside that is a part of me and Nate. I am sad however, that Nate hasn't been able to feel him yet. Every time he puts his hand on my belly to feel the kick, our little boy immediately stops. Then when Nate removes his hand, he starts up again. Nate is starting to feel like his baby doesn't like him! lol! I just keep telling him that our son takes after him.... a big tease! I do not however like the swollen feet and ankles, the back pain, having to wake up 3-4 + times during the night to go to the bathroom, all the trips to the bathroom during the day and the fact that I have gained weight all over and not just my belly. I don't think I have a "cute" pregnant belly, because I've gained the weight everywhere else as well. Oh well. I guess you guys can decide if I look pregnant with a "pregnant belly".

20 weeks

26 weeks

I am so excited to meet my little boy in a few months! But I've had some extreme anxiety too. How am I supposed to do all this? How am I going to survive financially when I don't get paid maternity leave? I don't feel ready for anything. We don't have the baby room cleaned out yet, it's not painted. We don't have a crib yet, car seat, stroller, bedding, clothes. We have a couple packages of diapers, but that won't last long. I feel like I have soooo much to do and not enough time to get it all done! And we still can't decide on a name for him! We have just under 4 months to go and I feel so anxious about everything. So excited, yet so afraid!

It will be fun when he is finally here though. Nate's 2 sisters are also pregnant. Christine is due 3 days after me with her 2nd, a girl. And Gina is due in February, don't know yet what she is having! It will be so fun to have cousins the same age! And it is fun to discuss our pregnancies, the similarities and the differences that all three of us are going through at the same time!

On a completely different subject, Monday, July 5th was my dad's birthday, my grampa Ellis' birthday. It also was my original due date when I got pregnant last year before the miscarriage. As the 4th of July was on a sunday, I had monday off of work. Nate and I slept in WAY late. We didn't get up till 12:30. Nice, I really needed that sleep. We decided to go to the Cracker Barrel for lunch. It had been a long time since we had anything that resembeled a date (he's been in rehearsals and performances for Annie at the Empress Theatre in Magna). So we thought we would go out to eat. We love the Cracker Barrel! Then, as it was my grampa's birthday and this being his first birthday since passing last July, we thought we would go and visit his grave. I wanted to do something special for his birthday, so I bought some cans of Mountain Dew (his favorite drink) and a party hat that said "Happy Birthday". I placed these on his headstone! I know grampa would have loved it. I could just picture him (if he was here) laughing at that and than taking a big sip of his Dew from his mug! It was really nice, but I did shed a tear or two! I love you and miss you grampa. My dad took the day to go fishing, so we couldn't go and wish him a happy birthday, but we are having a party later for that. So we figure that was okay.

Well, I think that covers it for now. There is probably more floating around in my brain that I could write, but I am tired. So I will end on a funny note. On the 4th of July, we went to my sister-in-laws house for a BBQ and fireworks. During dinner, Nate got up to go get some more food, and we all noticed that he had some extra "ventilation" in his shorts! We haven't been able to figure out how he did it, but it was pretty funny! Luckily Beau, our brother-in-law, had some shorts that didn't fit him anymore and gave them to Nate to see if they fit. And lucky for us, they did! So for the 4th we had good food, great fireworks and a free sideshow! Thanks Nate for all the joy and laughs! I love you!